England ready vs Zombie invasion In Real Life

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Chrisax
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England ready vs Zombie invasion In Real Life

Post by Chrisax »

This is why England is really better, you know! We are ready! Do your city or country have a plan in the case of Zombie invasions? No?! Shame, for WE have one! At least, the city of Bristol has but I'm confident other cities of England and the United Kingdom will soon be ready as well.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/ ... d-invasion

A citizen contacted the council of Bristol wondering what plans have been laid down in case the undead invade. He was clearly and thoughtfully answered by the service director of communication and marketing.

Here are the letters made public on the Freedom of Information Act site
http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/p ... ment-19423
and NOW, I can tell you England can feel safe. And you, all others, are just doomed.


P Store (Mr)

10 June 2011

Dear Bristol City Council,

I was very worried to see on the BBC, that Leicester City Council
has admitted that it has not made adequate preparation for an
attack by zombies. See
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-le ... e-13713798

As a concerned Bristol resident, and as a responsible parent, I'm
most concerned by this, and would like to know whether Bristol City
Council is better prepared than those nay-sayers in the east
midlands.

We really must be told!

Yours faithfully,

P Store
Dear Mr Store

In response to your request, made under the Freedom of Information Act,
for details of Bristol City Council's contingency plans for dealing with
zombies, I can now release to you the following strategy document.

Please note that this document contains various redactions as it has
been considered that some information contained therein must be redacted
for the purpose of safeguarding national security. As a result, section
24 of the Act applies. Although the City Council aim to be transparent
and accountable to the public, in this instance it is considered that
our duty to safeguard national security outweighs these aims on this
occasion.

This response should answer your request in full, however if you are
not satisfied with this response or wish to lodge an appeal against any
exemptions that may have been applied, you can do so by writing to the
Data Protection Officer at Bristol City Council Legal Services, The
Council House, College Green, Bristol, or [Bristol City Council request email]. Details
of the complaints procedure can be found at
http://www.bristol.gov.uk/complaints.

If, after you have exhausted the council’s complaints procedure, you
are still not satisfied with the response you have received you have the
right to complain to the Information Commissioner, details of your right
to complain can be found at http://www.ico.gov.uk/complaints.aspx

Copyright notice
The provision of information by Bristol City Council under this scheme
does not imply a right to reproduce or commercially exploit such
information without the Council's express prior written permission.
Reproduction or commercial exploitation of materials supplied under
this scheme without the express permission of Bristol City Council may
be an infringement of copyright.
The Council is unable to grant permission to reproduce or re-use any
material accessed through this scheme that is the property of third
parties. Permission to reproduce or re-use such material must be
obtained from the copyright holders.

Peter Holt
Service Director of Communication and Marketing
Bristol City Council

Peter Holt
Service Director of Communication and Marketing
Bristol City Council

The Council House
College Green
Bristol BS1 5TR
phone: 0117 922 2647
fax: 0117 9224330
mobile: 07831 668359
web: http://www.bristol.gov.uk
And here is the official document attached:

Bristol City Council
Top Secret
Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in
Bristol
  • HTML version:
    http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/7 ... n.doc.html
    .doc version:
    http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/7 ... 20Plan.doc
    Raw text version, just in case
    Bristol City Council

    Top Secret

    Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in Bristol


    Following advice to local authorities from [redacted, on grounds of national security] Bristol City Council has adopted the following contingency plans.


    Alert states

    Be aware of the following possible alert states.
    • Ambient zombie level – business as usual, but be on the lookout for tell-tale signs

      Enhanced activity level – confirmed zombie attacks on the populus

      Major outbreak – zombie infection level in excess of 1%, multiple sightings across the city

      Zombie pandemic level – concentrated outbreak, with infection levels over 30%

    High risk areas in Bristol

    Intelligence from [redacted, on grounds of national security] indicates that certain parts of the Bristol area have an enhanced zombie prevalence, including Whitchurch Park, Shirehampton, and Totterdown. False positives have been found in Stokes Croft, which are subject of under-cover investigation through use of [redacted, on grounds of national security].


    Mobilisation

    To avoid widespread panic, codewords are in use to mobilise these contingency plans. All staff should therefore be on the look out for references on TV or Radio to [redacted, on grounds of national security], and then proceed to their pre-assigned emergency stations.
    These coded references will be broadcast on nation & local radio and television networks



    Health and Safety Implications

    Remember the correct zombie killing procedure:
    • 1 – Fully disconnect the brain-stem from the body through either blunt force or full head removal

      2 – Avoid all unprotected contact.

      3 – Zombies are extremely aggressive. Do not approach unless adequately armed.

    Procurement implications

    The Council has entered into a multi-agency procurement contract for appropriate equipment – where possible in line with our buy-local policy.

    A catalogue of standard issue equipment – cuffs, stun guns, protection suits etc. – is available on the staff intranet.


    Customer service implications

    Due to urgent operational considerations, it is acceptable to suspend some elements of normal best practice in customer service standards when dealing with a zombie outbreak.


    Training opportunities

    An annual training schedule for designated officers is in place. To avoid public panic, this is billed as a gaming festival, codename project igfest. Use your standard issue decoder ring to reveal hidden details concealed in the website at http://igfest.org/headline-game . A range of refresher videos are also available such as http://vimeo.com/21114808

    Top tip for personal development: Staff fully qualified in zombie handling may qualify for partial exemption and accreditation in the training for handling pirate outbreaks, and for spotting the difference between genuine hot air balloons and evil giant floaty space aliens. Speak to your departmental Learning Development Partner for more details.
(Loading can be slow due to the number of requests for this document)




Yes you know, what makes England a really different and superior country is that we actually got braiiiiiiiinzzzzzzzz
User avatar
Chrisax
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:08 pm

Re: England ready vs Zombie invasion In Real Life

Post by Chrisax »

:chrisdidit:

:crazy:
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InsaneEvan
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Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:49 pm
Location: Bristol - UK

Re: England ready vs Zombie invasion In Real Life

Post by InsaneEvan »

I'm so glad I live in a city with a zombie invasion plan.

Of course, I'm keeping my personal one completely intact. I don't trust the city council here.
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate; it is that we are powerful beyond measure"
Marianne Williamson
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