Word Perfect Helpline
Word Perfect Helpline
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing?'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing?'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
If its not broken, Your not trying hard enough!!
-DC-Grind42-Nightcrawler-
Damage Clan
General of Athen Paladins
-DC-Grind42-Nightcrawler-
Damage Clan
General of Athen Paladins
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Lol this is sooo good.
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
HOly crap!
Sort of like a bad hair day, some people get bad job day...
Sort of like a bad hair day, some people get bad job day...
" I Don't Like That Man. I Must Get To Know Him Better." -Abraham Lincoln
- Alphacenta
- Leetissimo!
- Posts: 3200
- Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 8:05 pm
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Hahahaha...
Epic.
And yeah there ARE in fact callers THIS stupid.
Epic.
And yeah there ARE in fact callers THIS stupid.
Lupusceleri L220/24 Agent.
Silversmith upcoming TL5 twink.
Wolfseye L110/12 Adventurer (towertwink).
Lysdexic L90/9 Agent (Mimic Enf towertwink).
Aesculapias L21/2 Doctor (ancient).
Aaaand various other alts.
Silversmith upcoming TL5 twink.
Wolfseye L110/12 Adventurer (towertwink).
Lysdexic L90/9 Agent (Mimic Enf towertwink).
Aesculapias L21/2 Doctor (ancient).
Aaaand various other alts.
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Epic FAIL........
Lol you really how these people ever made it out of the nursery let alone got a job That said i have met someone nearly this bad before (not quite tho!)
Lol you really how these people ever made it out of the nursery let alone got a job That said i have met someone nearly this bad before (not quite tho!)
You want it made ..... See me
You want it broken ... See me
You want it fixed....... Send your hampster to FC
You want it broken ... See me
You want it fixed....... Send your hampster to FC
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Once upon a wave of summer,
I saw a bright, blue, cloudless sky
Before I felt blessed with thunder,
Then I was nuked- the end is nigh
- Solidstriker (AO Forums)
I saw a bright, blue, cloudless sky
Before I felt blessed with thunder,
Then I was nuked- the end is nigh
- Solidstriker (AO Forums)
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Sweet Freeman lol, I wasn't 100% sure if it was true but really funny anyway.
Nice link btw.
Nice link btw.
If its not broken, Your not trying hard enough!!
-DC-Grind42-Nightcrawler-
Damage Clan
General of Athen Paladins
-DC-Grind42-Nightcrawler-
Damage Clan
General of Athen Paladins
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
very very funny
- Sookie
- Big Leet
- Posts: 341
- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:02 am
- Location: Temecula, California, USA
- Contact:
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
I love it.... WTB more like it. Thanks for sharing.
Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports. Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Yeah. Did you get that memo?
Yeah. I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
Yeah. Did you get that memo?
Yeah. I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Grind i have a question .... is it a personal experience of yours?
Re: Word Perfect Helpline
Lol Faros I deal with Idjots everyday some of them even in AO but that post was really a thin line between intelligence & having none at all.
If its not broken, Your not trying hard enough!!
-DC-Grind42-Nightcrawler-
Damage Clan
General of Athen Paladins
-DC-Grind42-Nightcrawler-
Damage Clan
General of Athen Paladins